Wednesday, February 5, 2020

THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE




In the world of high stakes athletics nothing seems more important than statistics.
The numbers an athlete posts can provide a quantifiable answer to the pertinent question,
What have you done for me lately?


It may seem cruel and a bit callous, but spots on teams are often earned and lost primarily based on the stats an athlete produces. Countless hours on sports talk radio and cable tv are dedicated to endlessly rehashing the statistics athletes put up. The obsession with the sports stars and the numbers they produce can be mind boggling to the point that I rarely, if ever, even follow those radio and tv shows anymore. There’s just too much over-analyzing and rampant speculation to hold my interest.
What is the point?

A mock draft?
Who cares?

Trade speculation?
Why not wait until an actual trade is made?

Second guessing the manager of your favorite baseball team?
Sure, that’s pretty easy Jethro, from the comfort of your Barcalounger, armed with very little of the experience and information the manager had at hand.

I guess maybe I just believe that different numbers should be looked at to make more valid analysis of athletes.

I’m not referring to the new analytics that are taking over baseball with sabermetrics, and PECOTA, as described in the book, MONEYBALL, by Michael Lewis, and depicted in the movie of the same name, starring Brad Pitt.

Many proponents swear by those methods.
I prefer looking at the figures in a different way of my own.
Perhaps mine might be a better way of taking the measure of the man.

As a kid growing up in Minnesota in the 60’s and 70’s I skated on our backyard rink and rooted for Gopher hockey, the NHL’s North Stars, and the Fighting Saints in the WHA.
The guys who played on those teams were my heroes, and what I aspired to become.


Unfortunately I never made it there.
Far from it.
But some of those guys still remain heroes to me.


One of those heroes is a fellow named Ted Hampson.
Late in his career Hampson played two seasons for the North Stars and then 4 with the Fighting Saints. As a fan I really liked Ted because, like me he is a smaller guy, standing 5 foot 8 inches tall (just a little bit taller than me).

Ted could score goals, provide assists, and do whatever the team needed.
In 1969, as a North Star, he won the Masterton Trophy, which is awarded to the National Hockey League player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. In 1973, while playing for the Fighting Saints, he won the Paul Deneau Trophy as the WHA’s most gentlemanly player.




Winning those awards was quite an accomplishment for Ted. More impressive though may be the fact that at the end of Ted’s career the United States Hockey League (a midwestern junior hockey league) named their award for perseverance and sportsmanship the Ted Hampson Award.
A good friend of mine named Tom won that award the year he played juniors.

If memory serves me correctly the award came with a plaque and a small scholarship check since junior hockey players primarily play to catch the attention of college hockey scouts and coaches in hopes of earning scholarships and a spot on a college hockey roster. Tom earned a college scholarship, had a successful college hockey career, graduated, and went into coaching for many years, at a lot of different levels and locations.

A big part of coaching in juniors and college is scouting and recruiting players.
At any high school game there is invariable a cadre of scouts and coaches in the upper rows of the stands evaluating the talents and potential of the kids giving it their all on the ice down below. The coaches could rely solely on the players’ statistics to evaluate talent, but there’s really no substitute for watching an athlete do their thing in person.

Spending so much time in rinks evaluating the same pools of kids means that many of these scouts and coaches get to know each other fairly well. Conversations are struck up, old tales are retold, and friendships are formed.

A couple of years ago, attending a high school hockey game with Tom, my friend who had won the Ted Hampson Award, we ran into the actual Ted Hampson, who now scouts for the Vancouver Canucks. Tom and Ted had become friends over years of scouting in a myriad of rinks across North America.

There is a school of thought that says you shouldn’t meet your heroes.
You’ll only be disappointed.
I've never believed that.

I was honored to meet Ted. He was a pretty nice guy but we only had the opportunity to chat for a short while. You see Hampson was at the game with his wife and he was going to get something to eat and needed to get back to his seat beside her before the next period began.

We saw Ted’s son Gordie sitting in the stands with his mom, so Tom pointed out Gail Hampson, Ted’s wife, to me. He then explained to me that Gail suffered from dementia so Ted pretty much cares for her full time except when he has a game to attend. Occasionally Ted could bring her along, but increasingly more often he now needs to arrange to have a nurse come care for her while he is busy evaluating hockey players.

Tom also told me that early on in his friendship with Ted Hampson, decades after Tom won the Ted Hampson Award, he told Ted about how honored he had been to win the award, and that the fact that Hampson’s name, one of the hockey players Tom admired the most, was attached to it, made it so much more meaningful.

Tom Hanks, as manager Jimmy Dugan, in the movie A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, famously said,

THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!”


Well there’s none in hockey either, except on occasion the combination of Zamboni fumes and fluorescent lighting can cloud up your contact lenses and make the eyes of some in the stands to water a bit.
I’m told that that night, when Tom shared that story with Ted, it was one of those eye-watering occasions.
Even though neither of them wear contact lenses.
That’s their story though, and they’re stickin’ to it.



Sadly, on January 14th of this year, Ted’s wife, Gail Hampson passed away.

I heard about it a few days later through social media.
The next Saturday Tom and I went to watch a high school game.
I asked if he had heard that Mrs. Hampson had passed.
He hadn’t, but he knew that another friend, Frank, who scouts with Ted, and meets him for coffee every Wednesday, would probably have first-hand information.

After that period we sought Frank out.
He filled us in on the details and shared a touching story with us.

Gail died peacefully on a Tuesday.
The final arrangements were made and the funeral was planned for a Monday two weeks later.
Ted had done all he could do for Gail, for the time being, so when Frank offered to take Ted to watch a high school game the Saturday after Gail passed, Ted agreed to go.

As Frank told the story he was glad to get Ted back in an arena and doing something he really enjoyed. After a time though Ted developed a bit of a preoccupied expression, a thousand mile stare. Finally Ted told Frank that he had been wracking his brain, he had a nagging feeling he had forgotten to do something. It finally occurred to Ted, he had forgotten to arrange a nurse to stay with Gail.

But then he remembered that Gail was gone.
There’d be no more nurses for Ted to arrange.
After 61 years of marriage Gail is now gone.

61 years of marriage.
61 years as a devoted husband.

In my view THAT is the most important stat, and the greatest accomplishment, that Ted has yet achieved.

It’s also why he remains one of my heroes and I’m glad I was fortunate enough to meet him. .

The numbers don’t lie.


Sunday, January 5, 2020

SOMEONE SAVED MY LIFE TONIGHT



I’ve never claimed to be a very good husband.

I was just extremely fortunate to win the hand of a very special bride.

She’s put up with my nonsense and hi-jinx for more than 4 decades.
She is such a forgiving soul.

One of the more prominent recent examples of her special grace is the fact that she didn’t
divorce me despite the fact that I left her alone, in our marital bed, on our 38th wedding
anniversary this past August while I spent the night in another bed in the company of 6 other
women I had just met that night.

Let me explain.

My Lovely Bride and I both planned to leave work early on August 29th in order to get home to
fire up the grill and prepare a nice meal together of steak, grilled asparagus, a pear gorgonzola
salad, and some Ben and Jerry’s Oat of this Swirled ice cream for dessert, followed up by a walk
and perhaps a movie.


Being as that day was near month-end, as an accountant, I was unable to leave work as early
as I wanted.
Since my bride is a library manager she was held up at work and arrived home even later than I
did.

But fortunately not too much later.

As I waited at home I felt the weird sensation of the left side of my tongue swelling.
I looked in a mirror and noticed a strange puffiness that I now know is referred to as geographic
tongue. Half of my tongue looked like the puffy roof of the Metrodome stadium from the outside.

My wife called to say she was on the way home and as we spoke she wondered why my voice
sounded so strange. (It wasn’t entirely unusual for me to go an entire weekend punctuating
EVERY one of my responses to her with “AMUNDO!” a la The Fonz, Arthur Fonzarelli
from the tv show “Happy Days” because, well, why not? Somehow she tolerated that and didn’t have her attorneys contact mine.)

I explained to her that my tongue felt thick and that I was getting quite itchy.

Fortunately she was only a few minutes from home.

When she pulled up in front of our house she told me to jump in so we could get to a doctor.
I would have just shrugged the swelling off.

Luckily we don’t live very far from Methodist Hospital so we headed there.

A word to the wise; if you’ve ever complained about long wait times at an Emergency Room you
may want to try telling the triage staff that you have a blocked airway.
I have NEVER been admitted so rapidly. ANYWHERE!

The attention was somewhat gratifying until about a dozen healthcare professionals descended
on me and I heard talk of prepping one of the BIG ROOMS for me, “just in case.”
In case of WHAT?

I probably didn’t want to know.

My wife DEFINITELY didn’t want to know.

Thankfully, though we used one, the bigger room was not really needed.
We did find out that what had happened was an anaphylactic reaction.

To what?

We don’t know that yet.

I spent that night in the hospital, got tested for allergies, and now carry Benadryl and EpiPens.
Just in case.

The six women I referred to earlier were a doctor, nurses, lab techs, and respiratory therapists, that cared for me that night.

In sharing this episode over the last few months I’ve heard from multiple people that they are
supposed to carry EpiPens too, but many don’t because of the expense.
I’ve encouraged them to rethink that as it could potentially mean the difference between life and
death.

LIFE AND DEATH.



On Saturday November 7th, 1987, the Michigan Wolverines came to Minneapolis to play the
Golden Gophers in football.
During that game, Darrell Thompson, a man I didn’t know at the time, but would come to know
well when I went back to the U, in 1988, to work in the football equipment room, took a
handoff in his own end zone and ran 98 yards for a Gopher touchdown, (still a UofM record)
It was later found out that at some point during that game legendary Michigan Head Coach, Bo
Schembechler, suffered a mild heart attack.


Bo maintains it happened during that Thompson touchdown run.
When asked about the cardiac event, at a later date, Schembechler boasted,
“It probably woulda killed a lesser man.”

I ALWAYS loved that quote, however, on New Years Eve, Tuesday December 31st, 2019, I
damn near became THAT lesser man.

Let me explain.




After a gathering with old high school friends in the afternoon, and a really nice dinner at home
with family, I was looking forward to an early evening New Years celebration at a time suitable to
our (soon to be) 6 and 2-1/2 year old grand daughters.



But then my tongue started feeling funny,
And soon after that I felt the need to go to the bathroom, and rapidly thereafter nausea set in.
I grabbed my Benadryl, and EpiPens, yelled for my wife, and headed to one of our bathrooms.

By the time she arrived, seconds later, my wife found me with my EpiPens.
In my telling it I was too shaky and weak to use the pen.

What she saw was me holding the pen to my thigh and staring at it like one of those drug addled
addicts portrayed in bad late 60’s TV cop shows.

This ALL progressed at an alarming rate of speed.
I only remember bits and pieces of the rest of the evening.

Lost to me was;
My wife giving me the first life-saving EpiPen injection.
The paramedic giving me the second.
My daughter dialing 911.
My daughter-in-law hustling the grandkids to another part of the house to shield them from what
was about to happen.
Hopkins police in my living room.
Hennepin county sheriffs deputies in the house.
Paramedics in my bathroom with me.
The large man who single-handedly picked me up and placed me in a stair chair after I blacked
out the second time.

I was out cold for ALL of that.

Gone-zo.

NOT.
A.
CLUE.

2020 damn near became a foreign shore I never reached.

If not for the fast-action of my wife, family, and the first responders, I wouldn’t be telling you this
story right now.
Instead, you’d most likely be trying to think of what to say to my family at my funeral.

My wife saved my life that night.
My wife, and EpiPens.


German author Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Every second is of infinite value.”

They sure were this past New Year’s Eve.
And they sure will be, to me, from here on out.

I feel like I’ve been granted bonus time.
Time to do the important things.

One of the important things is to tell this story, in order to encourage people to get their
EpiPens.
Please allow someone to save your life as well!



POSTSCRIPT
A direct result of blacking out can be a dramatic drop in blood pressure which can shock the
colon leading to Ischemic Colitis and additional hospitalization.
Yep, I got that too.
I hope to post this story on 1/5/20, which, cross your fingers, may be the first day of 2020 that I
WON’T be in the hospital.
It can’t go anywhere but up from here!