As a young man I was told that it would be wise, when considering a woman to marry, to get to know her mother, for that would give the best approximation of the woman you’d be spending your life with. I had pretty much decided on the woman I wanted to be my Lovely Bride well before I met her mother. Meeting her mom Ole only made me feel more confident in my decision. I just needed to figure out how to get her to say,
“Yes.”
I’ve often said that if a man has to have a mother in law I was lucky to have had the best one.
You see there was never a dog alive mean enough to bite Gramma Ole.
She was kind, caring, generous, and accepted everyone with open arms.
“Yes.”
I’ve often said that if a man has to have a mother in law I was lucky to have had the best one.
You see there was never a dog alive mean enough to bite Gramma Ole.
She was kind, caring, generous, and accepted everyone with open arms.
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| The Memorial Garden at St. Edward's Church 9/8/18 Bloomington, Minnesota |
Gramma Ole passed
away on September 20th, 2010.
She is dearly missed and not a day
goes by that we don’t think of her and smile.
As we approach the 8 year anniversary of her passing I offer this unique memorial to her.
You see, when Gramma Ole passed away, one of her daughters was chosen to do the eulogy at her funeral She was a bit nervous about whether she’d be able to maintain her composure while publicly talking about the loss of someone she loved so much, held so dear, and who meant so much to us all.
The daughter asked me to be the stand in just in case she wavered.
You know, like the backup quarterback on the football sideline holding a clipboard and wearing a baseball cap.
I was honored to be asked, but a bit nervous as I had never delivered a eulogy, much less one that someone else had written.
So I wrote my own, not knowing if it would be needed, or if it was, how far into the service I would be jumping in. Thankfully my sister-in-law remained strong and was able to share her message in full.
The thoughts I had prepared remained neatly folded and tucked into my coat, unseen by all except later when I showed them to my wife and kids.
As a tribute to an incredible woman I present those remarks here and now.
“...with all that being said, and with apologies to family, friends, and all others assembled today, I’m going to go off the reservation here for a few minutes.
(Actually I am Native American so I think I can use that politically incorrect term)
I realize that this is a solemn occasion and not open mic night at the Chuckle Hut, but Ole never really stood on formality so I don’t think she’d mind me sharing a few irreverent thoughts with you all right now.
As we approach the 8 year anniversary of her passing I offer this unique memorial to her.
You see, when Gramma Ole passed away, one of her daughters was chosen to do the eulogy at her funeral She was a bit nervous about whether she’d be able to maintain her composure while publicly talking about the loss of someone she loved so much, held so dear, and who meant so much to us all.
The daughter asked me to be the stand in just in case she wavered.
You know, like the backup quarterback on the football sideline holding a clipboard and wearing a baseball cap.
I was honored to be asked, but a bit nervous as I had never delivered a eulogy, much less one that someone else had written.
So I wrote my own, not knowing if it would be needed, or if it was, how far into the service I would be jumping in. Thankfully my sister-in-law remained strong and was able to share her message in full.
The thoughts I had prepared remained neatly folded and tucked into my coat, unseen by all except later when I showed them to my wife and kids.
As a tribute to an incredible woman I present those remarks here and now.
“...with all that being said, and with apologies to family, friends, and all others assembled today, I’m going to go off the reservation here for a few minutes.
(Actually I am Native American so I think I can use that politically incorrect term)
I realize that this is a solemn occasion and not open mic night at the Chuckle Hut, but Ole never really stood on formality so I don’t think she’d mind me sharing a few irreverent thoughts with you all right now.
There are three
fairly common items that will, for the rest of my life, every time I
view them, remind me of Ole and make me smile.
Those three items
are, a spoon, the Minnesota Twins logo (you know the one with the two
guys, Minnie and Paul), and a heart.
Let me
explain.
Who here today likes ice cream? (pause for a show of hands)
Now, who LOVES ice cream? (pause for a show of hands)
Ole ABSOLUTELY LOVED ice cream.
My wife Liz fondly recalls, as a child, trips to the grocery store that, more often than not, included a final swing through the frozen foods aisle for Orange Creamsicle ice cream bars, as Ole liked to tell her daughter,
“Just a little something for the ride home.”
Who here today likes ice cream? (pause for a show of hands)
Now, who LOVES ice cream? (pause for a show of hands)
Ole ABSOLUTELY LOVED ice cream.
My wife Liz fondly recalls, as a child, trips to the grocery store that, more often than not, included a final swing through the frozen foods aisle for Orange Creamsicle ice cream bars, as Ole liked to tell her daughter,
“Just a little something for the ride home.”
Later our
children came to prefer when Gramma Ole picked them up after school
or their other activities.
She ALWAYS had a treat on hand for her young passengers. At times that treat was ice cream of some variety. Mom and dad were NEVER that prepared.
She ALWAYS had a treat on hand for her young passengers. At times that treat was ice cream of some variety. Mom and dad were NEVER that prepared.
Popular legend
has it that an older lady working with her family on her final wishes
had made sure that all of the arrangements; music to be performed,
scriptures to be read, and even the menu for the funeral dinner, had
been planned.
When it appeared that all the decisions had been made the lady added,
"I'd like to be buried with a fork in my hand."
When her family asked why she explained that at every really enjoyable dinner she'd eaten at when the main meal was finished the host or hostess would invariably begin clearing the plates off of the table and tell all of the diners,
"Save your forks!"
Because, you see, the dessert, the reward at the end, the part we all strive for, is yet to come.
The lady explained she wanted that reminder to any and all who might attend her open-casket visitation that despite the fact that she had passed, she’s saving her fork because she truly believes that the best is yet to come for her.
I’ve liked that story for years and figured that to adapt it for Ole however, the dessert would definitely need to be ice cream, and we’d all be urged instead to,
”SAVE YOUR SPOONS!”
In time most of us will probably experience the unusual and unsettling experience of going through hospice and end of life experiences with loved ones.
Gathering with family and friends not to celebrate a birthday or other holiday, but instead to share memories, support each other, and wait for the eventual end to a life well-led can be trying.
The uncertainty and waiting can be frustrating.
For Gramma Ole, at the medical personnels’ advice, we all gathered on a Thursday night to say our goodbyes despite the fact that by then she was non-responsive.
When it appeared that all the decisions had been made the lady added,
"I'd like to be buried with a fork in my hand."
When her family asked why she explained that at every really enjoyable dinner she'd eaten at when the main meal was finished the host or hostess would invariably begin clearing the plates off of the table and tell all of the diners,
"Save your forks!"
Because, you see, the dessert, the reward at the end, the part we all strive for, is yet to come.
The lady explained she wanted that reminder to any and all who might attend her open-casket visitation that despite the fact that she had passed, she’s saving her fork because she truly believes that the best is yet to come for her.
I’ve liked that story for years and figured that to adapt it for Ole however, the dessert would definitely need to be ice cream, and we’d all be urged instead to,
”SAVE YOUR SPOONS!”
In time most of us will probably experience the unusual and unsettling experience of going through hospice and end of life experiences with loved ones.
Gathering with family and friends not to celebrate a birthday or other holiday, but instead to share memories, support each other, and wait for the eventual end to a life well-led can be trying.
The uncertainty and waiting can be frustrating.
For Gramma Ole, at the medical personnels’ advice, we all gathered on a Thursday night to say our goodbyes despite the fact that by then she was non-responsive.
But Gramma Ole
wasn’t prepared to go just then.
She was holding on for something.
But what it was we couldn’t figure out.
By Monday afternoon we had an idea.
ICE CREAM.
Perhaps she was waiting for dessert.
So we got some ice cream, put it to her lips, and let her enjoy her favorite treat one last time.
Gramma Ole passed a short time after that with the taste of ice cream in her mouth,
“Just a little something for her final trip home.”
She was holding on for something.
But what it was we couldn’t figure out.
By Monday afternoon we had an idea.
ICE CREAM.
Perhaps she was waiting for dessert.
So we got some ice cream, put it to her lips, and let her enjoy her favorite treat one last time.
Gramma Ole passed a short time after that with the taste of ice cream in her mouth,
“Just a little something for her final trip home.”
The second item
that will always cause me to fondly remember Gramma Ole is the old,
original Twins logo. You see, Ole liked baseball, but she LOVED Twins
baseball.
The Twins have been a great diversion and source of entertainment for Ole this last year.
Ole started working at Twins games at the old Met Stadium, and continued doing so at the Metrodome.
The Twins have been a great diversion and source of entertainment for Ole this last year.
Ole started working at Twins games at the old Met Stadium, and continued doing so at the Metrodome.
I enjoyed
watching the Twins with her this summer and have never seen so many
Twins games in so many different locations; her home, Methodist
hospital, and Chapel View.
Wherever we could find the Twins on TV we were watching and chatting about this, that, and the other thing.
We did come to the conclusion that our favorite Twins’ logo was the original one with the two players shaking hands over the river. We’re both a little old-school in that, and a few other ways.
Wherever we could find the Twins on TV we were watching and chatting about this, that, and the other thing.
We did come to the conclusion that our favorite Twins’ logo was the original one with the two players shaking hands over the river. We’re both a little old-school in that, and a few other ways.
This particular
Twins season has been magical for many reasons. We don’t know how
it will end yet, but it has already been special because it has been
such a source of joy for Ole. She’s followed the Twins ups and
downs that have mirrored her recent past. Injuries and slumps the
Twins have suffered but played through have closely resembled the
struggle that Ole waged in her last few months.
During her last
hospitalization, for a time Ole was non-responsive, heavily
medicated, and needed an oxygen mask to breathe.
In time she rallied to pull through.
As Ole emerged from the fog, and she was able to converse with us, I gave her an update on the Twins news she’d missed.
Her first words in response to me were,
“How about that Thome! Hitting two home runs!”
Ole knew the players, she knew the strategy, and she loved to watch with anyone who’d sit and enjoy the games with her. I’ll always cherish those times with Ole, just a couple of old Twins fans enjoying the game, but more so reveling in each other’s company.
In time she rallied to pull through.
As Ole emerged from the fog, and she was able to converse with us, I gave her an update on the Twins news she’d missed.
Her first words in response to me were,
“How about that Thome! Hitting two home runs!”
Ole knew the players, she knew the strategy, and she loved to watch with anyone who’d sit and enjoy the games with her. I’ll always cherish those times with Ole, just a couple of old Twins fans enjoying the game, but more so reveling in each other’s company.
And finally, the
heart.
We all have hearts beating in our chests.
They maintain life and are a symbol for love.
Ole opened her heart and knew the importance of loving and being loved.
Ole had her first heart attack when I was a sophomore in college. It was an eye-opener for me as it was the first time that I recall the parent of someone my age brushing so close with death. I find it ironic then, that her faulty heart (that had a sticky valve) became one of her most memorable assets.
Ole didn’t care about people’s differences:
Male – Female
Black – White
Gay – Straight
Catholic – or not
None of these things mattered to Ole. She opened her heart to everyone regardless of who they were.
We all have hearts beating in our chests.
They maintain life and are a symbol for love.
Ole opened her heart and knew the importance of loving and being loved.
Ole had her first heart attack when I was a sophomore in college. It was an eye-opener for me as it was the first time that I recall the parent of someone my age brushing so close with death. I find it ironic then, that her faulty heart (that had a sticky valve) became one of her most memorable assets.
Ole didn’t care about people’s differences:
Male – Female
Black – White
Gay – Straight
Catholic – or not
None of these things mattered to Ole. She opened her heart to everyone regardless of who they were.
Ole was never
interested in advanced degrees or conventional book knowledge. If
you had those things, she was proud of you. If you didn’t have
those things, she’d still support you wholeheartedly.
Ole was not
concerned about being right, she was just concerned about being
THERE:
With a smile,
With a hug,
With a car to
use,
With money to
lend,
With a meal to
eat.
And
now, with memories we can all fondly recall of a big-hearted woman
that enriched all of our lives.
I know my time with Ole has made me a better person, man, husband, father, son, and brother.
Their time with Grandma Ole has made my kids better people as well.
The impact she’s had on my wife, her daughter Liz, has made her into as remarkable a woman as Ole was.
I know my time with Ole has made me a better person, man, husband, father, son, and brother.
Their time with Grandma Ole has made my kids better people as well.
The impact she’s had on my wife, her daughter Liz, has made her into as remarkable a woman as Ole was.
Please remember
Grandma Ole fondly. I hope you’ll share your favorite memories of
her with the family as we struggle to cope with losing this very
calm, loving, steadying influence from our lives.
We love and miss you Gramma Ole!"
We love and miss you Gramma Ole!"
