Put me in Coach!

The University of Minnesota has had 27 head football coaches in their long, storied history.

I’ve worked, either as a student or full time employee for 5 of them.

The recent passing of Murray Warmath, the coach who had the most recent success (national championship, Rose Bowl trips, Big Ten titles) coaching this once proud program gave me pause to reflect on the men in the big corner office that I’ve come to know.

Cal Stoll A good coach who did a lot with limited resources. He was able to compile 6-5 records but unfortunately he did so in an era when 7-4 records were needed to qualify for the few bowl games that were played back then. The year before I showed up on the scene he managed to beat both Michigan AND Washington who would, after that season, square off in the Rose Bowl. As good a coach as he was, I think he was an even better ex-coach. He stayed involved with Minnesota football and, after his heart transplant he did a lot of work with transplant patients, their families, and the families of donors. Of the athletic director who fired him near the end of the season my freshman year, Stoll often said, “God ruined a good woman when he put a set of balls on Paul Giel”. I always got along fine with Paul Giel AND Call Stoll; I admired the fact that even as age took its toll on coach Stoll he remained hacked off over getting fired.

Joe Salem Just a regular Joe who may have been in a little over his head at the Division One level. He assembled a pretty impressive group of assistant coaches, surrounding himself with very good assistants who later went on to be successful in the NFL; Mike Shanahan (Denver Broncos), Tony Dungy (Indianapolis Colts), Mike Martz (St. Louis Rams). The man was as down to earth as any coach I ever met and he loved to laugh. Shortly after leaving the U I heard he became a wholesale liquor distributor. I think that position may have been better suited to his personality.

John Gutekunst Gutey was a decent coach who was saddled with the unenviable task of following Lou Holtz. Conventional wisdom says you don’t want to be the guy who follows a legend; rather, you want to be the guy who follows the guy who followed the legend. Granted, Lou Holtz was hardly a legend AT Minnesota, his reputation, and expectations of what might have been, did stir up more interest in Gopher football than I recall in my lifetime. Gutey did what he could, but ultimately the powers that be at the U at that time decided they wanted to go in another direction.

Jim Wacker Coach Wacker was kind of goofy, but I always felt a bit of a bond with him as we were both preacher’s kids. He was also the only coach I ever lent a pair of my underwear to. After one game his shorts were inadvertently taken to be washed and he needed to go film his TV show. The pair I was wearing were the only ones available so I offered ‘em up. (talk about taking one for the team!) Prior to arriving at Minnesota his bona fides were impeccable. One year at TCU he became the first football head coach in NCAA history to have an entire recruiting class actually graduate within 5 years of enrollment. I don’t know that anyone has done that since. Wack had a different way of looking at things, and he was easily excitable, but he is one of the few coaches I’ve met that seemed to have a healthy, reasonable view of what winning and losing was all about. Unfortunately, as exciting as the offense under Wacker could be, the defense was largely ignored. The loses mounted and the losing weighed too heavily on Wack. I was sad to see him go. I was touched however, by the fact that he did make a point to seek me out to tell me of his decision before he went public with his resignation. I also like the fact that with a last name of Wacker, he had the stones to propose to, and marry, a woman with the first name Lil. How’d ya like to go through life as Lil Wacker?

Glen Mason Mase had a good long run at the U and compiled an impressive won/lost record. Along the way he alienated long time staff (many, like myself, figured life was too short to deal with this insufferable @$$-hole on a daily basis, and we left of our own accord), Minnesota high school coaches (who can heavily influence talented high school athletes), the general ticket buying public, and eventually his boss AND his boss too. I have little if any respect for Mase as a man, but as a coach (especially in light of the Brewster failed experiment) I think he did as good a job as he could. I just wish his parents would have hugged him more as a child, perhaps then he wouldn’t have been such an @$$-hole to those around him. He and I never butted heads; I just REALLY didn’t like his style.

Coach Warmath, Coach Stoll, and Coach Wacker, Rest in Peace.

Coach Salem and Coach Gutekunst, Good luck to you always.

Coach Mason, Good riddance.

Only one bad one in the bunch, and he accumulated the best record of them all. Maybe you do need to be a jerk to be successful in college football.

Who knew?